Here Am I, Send Me

The calling of my heart since I was young has been a calling to missions. Ever since I was in mission friends at my Church I can remember wanting to become a missionary to one place or the other. Since then, this has become one of my favorite verses,
Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send and who will go for us.” And I said, “Here am I, Send me.” (Isaiah 6:4)
Wow! What a place of complete surrender to God. I had felt like I had come to that place of surrender, but He has showed me that even though I am willing to go across the globe to China, am I willing to go to Church and wash dishes? Am I willing to change diapers? Am I willing to do the tough things that no one wants to do? The Lord has been so gracious to show me that if I am just willing to do the things that are big and get great recognition I am not surrendered at all. In fact if I am only willing to do the recognized things, that is hypocrisy. Here am I, send me doesn’t just mean to go on mission trips across the world; it means to love my brother when he rips me apart. It means to honor my parents when I feel like they are demanding more of me than what they do themselves. It means to reach out to someone when it is not convenient. Here am I, send me is not just a surrender to do something spiritual, but a call to say, “God, if You choose to send me to clean bathrooms or proclaim the gospel, I am ready, send me.”

It Covers Me

I often come to the end of the day and have a feeling of complete failure. I feel like I can never do anything right, like however much I might try, I will never be good enough. But the Lord has recently showed me that when I come to this place, it is the place that He can best use me. If I don't come to the point of complete sickness of my sin and total relyance on Him, He cannot use me to His fullest

“I indeed” was this in the past, “but He” came and something miraculous happened. Get to the end of yourself where you can do nothing, but where He does everything.
--Oswald Chambers

I praise my God for His grace to me the many times I have tried to just be I indeed. When I come to the end of myself His amazing grace is always there for me when I call. One of my favorite songs says it like this:

VERSE
Amazing grace, How sweet the sound
Amazing love, Now flowing down
From hands and feet, That were nailed to the tree
As grace flows down and covers me
CHORUS:
It covers me
It covers me
It covers me
And covers me